One of the main things that hold us back is constant worry. We let this feeling consume our days when essentially, these things do not matter. With worry out of the way, there is room for personal growth, productivity and happiness.
Many people aren’t mindful of all the things they worry about on a day to day basis, so here are some that I think are important to eliminate from your life.
1. What to wear
I started to pare down my wardrobe to the items I actually love and wear often. I used to try on 7 outfits before leaving the house and I know everyone does it. Now, I only have a few wardrobe choices so I can think about what I want to wear at night and throw it on in the morning.
When you have a lot, the options are limitless. When you reduce your options, you reduce your worry.
2. Being relevant
People get busy. Not having time for happy hours and catch up sessions with the girls is normal. You shouldn’t put pressure on yourself to show up every time.
More so, thinking that you need to constantly engage on social media is counter productive. The number of followers, likes and impressions you get does not prove your relevance or popularity.
In my opinion, everyone needs to focus on themselves a little more including myself and social media distract us from that.
3. The actions of others
I think we try to make sense of what others do, and sometimes there is no sense to be made. The only person you can trust to do the right thing is you. Not even the greatest teacher can achieve 100% comprehension from their students. You can’t control the actions of others, so why get upset when you don’t agree with them?
“Why did she give me a bad look? Why did he say that? Why hasn’t he called?”
Admittedly, I used to think the same. But being upset about what other humans have or have not done only burns a hole in your patience. You don’t need that.
4. Not knowing what you want to do in life
This one upsets me. While I believe it is smart to start thinking about the future, especially as young professionals, not enough people live in the present. I know many people take temporary jobs they hate because they don’t know what they want to do in life.
But not enough people are saying, “it’s ok to not know”.
I am a firm believer that if you just start doing things you love to sustain yourself, the future will create itself.
5. Making others proud
My dad is a soul crusher sometimes. Since I was young, he would try to convince his kids to stop doing things we love because it was either a waste of time, money or it just didn’t make sense to him why it made us happy. But his plan backfired because he raised some tough, stubborn children that didn’t listen.
I never worried about making him proud, I know that even if he were, he wouldn’t say it; and I believe he is.
Hold yourself to the highest standard, and make yourself proud. Set goals for yourself and meet them. That’s more satisfying than getting a pat on the back.
6. Making a mess
My best friend is a talented artist. Her best work came when she parted with the love of her life. They are back together now, but her art has taken a back seat. I think this is normal, your priorities change with you add commitments into your life. One day I asked her why she doesn’t paint in the apartment they share. Her response was so weird to me. She said, “I’m worried about making a mess and having to clean it up after.”
On so many levels I was disappointed. I still am because she has stops herself from doing something she loves for the sake of not making a mess and that to me, is heartbreaking.
7. Possibly failing
I packed up my shit and moved to NYC and I had a great chance of completely failing. I had a job, lost that job, got another one 5 months later, and quit. I’m now back at my parents house and I don’t feel like a failure. If anything, I accomplished what I went to NYC to do. I learned about myself. If I had stopped myself because I was afraid of failing, I might not have.
When you take a chance, it is not guaranteed that you will succeed or fail. Trying is the only way to find out.